Generation Gap Is More Evident After Adolescence
The generation
gap is the difference in opinions between the two generations. This has
been seen since the distant past. The reason is that elders never expect their
younger ones (we can say the immediate generation) to reciprocate back at them
and younger ones cannot bear the Monopoly of elders over their own opinions.
These results into non-acceptance of each other views and then the tussle
exists between the two.
Generation
Gap
No doubt tradition, rules, and regulations keep changing with
time so change takes place in the society and should be handled smartly. The
old generation becomes rigid and not ready to accept the change, and then this
imposes the compulsion on the new generation. Of course old generation cannot
bear opposition from youngsters as they consider that youngsters should obey
him blindly whatever they say. This could be right till phase 1 of the
generation i.e. their childhood, but once they attain the adolescent phase,
thereafter all kinds of controversies begin between the two generations
(Generation Gap). Each keeps complaining about each other. It is not necessary
that younger ones would accept everything blindly due to fear of beating and
this confusion makes them disturbed internally and makes them aggressive which
later after a certain limit becomes explosive.
Now the demand of the current scenario is that we have to think over ourselves as a friend to our offspring by keeping aside our ego of being elder. One has to give more time with to the children and recognise their needs. So, one should deal with the children softly, smartly and also make them understand the difference between right and wrong opinions which ends into right and wrong conversation.
Parents should be a good listener and listen carefully to the child before giving a sound reply because it becomes very difficult to take words back and also the children will take parents seriously. It should not be that you are ordering something and the child has to follow that blindly. Let him be the decision-maker, take his consent while making the home menu, rules for study, play, relationships, etc. also decide together on the punishment on breaking a rule. Make holiday schedule with him as to how long he will study and how long he will watch TV, be a part of the world of the child, talk to him at his level but should be in a mature and sensible way.
This becomes the duty of parents to behave more maturely and friendly to the adolescent child and thereafter. Age of children developing in phase 2 (teenager) of life is very tender, they become more and more enthusiastic and try to grab information from friends, media, TV films and the internet, etc. at this age they become very selfish and just think about themselves totally.
Ideally this age of children is to study well, eat well for their physical and mental development as during this age the bones muscles and sex organs develop. The children very easily get attracted towards the opposite sex which is natural, this is the time when children are growing into adulthood, and this is the period when the child enters into youth. During this age children should focus on their career which would help them to lead a happy life in their later stages. All types of enjoyment they can keep in store and later enjoy after a suitable career in which one is interested to take up.
But the children of current scenario get attracted towards the opposite sex at a very early age, though it is not the right age and right time to think on these matters, except the career. Now starts a great challenge for the parents, they have to keep the harmony between the discipline, control and restrictions on the children, in such a way that which do not compel them to rebel the parents. When, it is a matter of drugs, alcohol, smoking etc. apply restrictions and make him understand of all the pros and cons and also avoid his bad company of friends, but in friendly behaviour. When a child enters into his teenage year’s parents should behave with him like a friend.
Rash driving is done by many children and are addicted for high speed driving don’t give a bike to a child below 18 years tell and make him understand that this may put him behind bars or someone may lose his life. Dating and party has also become very prominent of the teenagers, as long as a child is telling parents about it, let the things be easy going, with whom he is going when he will come back then nothing is wrong but even if he is concealing something from you then don’t scold him at least not in front of somebody else. Tell him the responsibilities that come along with the freedom, if possible send him in a group ask him before leaving about where is he/she going and when he/she will come back don’t allow for late-night parties.
Give the child the knowledge of sex. Sex is a part of life if a child gets proper information, he will hold the right view, if the child ask any question that don’t scold him rather should be proud that the child has trust on you. Tell him about the reproduction of plants, animals and then of the human beings. Try to support the child in such a way that he does not indulge in sex before the right time.
Today, children want freedom; they don’t like interruptions, limitations from the parents. They become rebellious, if the parents put their own wishes on them. Don’t compel the child for to do anything, give them two options and tell the result of both the options, most probably one will choose the right option.
Parents are always in dilemma about the freedom of their children. They want to give freedom to their children but due to being anxious about their safety, they also impose restrictions. It is better to specify the time limit to children up to which they can stay away from it, so that they gain complete knowledge as how to deal with the situation. Time teaches us many things than the difference of opinions.
Current Case of an Adolescent Girl
A girl currently studying in class 12 is a very serious and good student and also very passionate about her career, rather wants to become an IAS officer too. But, fell into her adolescent attraction and had been in love with someone for the past three years. She said the boy is good but not very good at studies and makes her believe that someday he would do something extraordinary in his life. Though, she trusts him blindly, whereas, her parents are putting restrictions on her for not conversing with other boys and told that they would get her married to an IAS officer. Though she is not rigid to their decision but she also said that she is deeply in love with her boyfriend and also he promises to earn lots of money by doing a job in a good company (he has completed a bachelor’s in engineering). But, yes, he cannot become an IAS officer.
Here she had asked the opinion of an expert.
Response by Kamna Chhibber, Head (Mental Health), Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences at Fortis Healthcare
He had replied that being a young teenager and making a big decision at such a young age with so much certainty may not be sensible. It will affect the rest of her life. Rather she should currently look at and focus on stabilizing her academic life and her future career.
In the meantime, let your partner also stay focused on the same and determine how he would like to shape his future life. It would be advisable to maintain flexibility in her mind and openness towards what the future can potentially hold for her as an individual and for both of them as a couple.
Speaking to the family about the future plans with the partner currently would not be helpful as the perspective of the parents would be similar and they would want to focus on the future and career. Speaking about this matter would be more beneficial and more comfortable when both of you have a solid career in place and are in a position to make a decision for the long term. The process of convincing them would also be more easily can be done in the future and theoretically determining it in advance about the facts it would be or needs to be for, is not possible in the present. Therefore, as it is not possible to know how things will shape up to be in the future, kindly give time to each other and don’t be in a hurry for anything.
This was the best advice given by Dr. Kamna Chibber and this would have been only the reply of any sensible person too.
“Though World Is Changing and Children Are Becoming More and More Extrovert, But For Everything There Is A Right Time for Execution”
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